I am in a vortex of obligation.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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