it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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