I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
