we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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