I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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