Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
