Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
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I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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