If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
