i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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