mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
