The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Randomize