I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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