we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
