I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
