I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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