hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
