Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
