I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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