so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
