Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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