wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you would pick up someone in the library
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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