last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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