Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
