if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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