Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
