is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
