The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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