i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
