I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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