Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize