4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
