Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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