hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
