the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
