We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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