He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
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Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
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He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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