There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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