It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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