just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
