i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
