I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
