You're my little dorito
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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