got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
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Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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