Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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