I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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