i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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