he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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