whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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