Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
