You really coming over, don't trick.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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