I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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