I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
