i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
