hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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