"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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