that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
