Is it because I queefed?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
