woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize