Umm I'm too high to move.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Someone came in the potted fern
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
