u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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