please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
