i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
