So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
her vagine was all disorganized.
i was born a porn star she said
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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