The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
