my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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