Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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