I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
