Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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