i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
